It's not that I have anything against the good-natured jokes of April Fool's Day, it's just that I don't believe anything for an entire day. Sure, you have your ridiculous ads from companies, like the McPickle burger from McDonald's, but then there's the ones that sound plausible until you stop and think about it for more than a second.

Tom Brady saying he's going to retire? The dude still has four more fingers to go. Lockheed Martin saying they now have the technology to smell Space? That's not how Space works. The Army announces that it'll take the well-being of the troops into consideration and allow them to wear protective masks, under AR 670-1, in areas of with hazardous air quality? Good one.

At least there was a solid selection of memes to choose from this week! Enjoy!

(In all seriousness, the protective mask one is real — and it's about freakin' time.)

1.Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

(Meme via Coast Guard Memes)

2.If it looks stupid, but works, it ain't stupid...

(Meme via Broken and Unreadable)

3.You can tell they're lieutenants because they still have a spark of joy in their eyes. 

(Meme via I Am An American Soldier)

4.I think we all kind of lied to ourselves when we said we only naturally went to a partial parade rest because it felt "more casual."

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

5.Makes my heart long for my old M-4. We were inseparable for 12 months in Afghanistan together, cuddled in my sleeping bag every night, and I kept her looking spotless when I could. I just hope whoever came after me loved her like I did...

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)

6.It took me longer than I'm willing to admit to get that the left side was port and right was starboard.

And the only way I still remember it is because 'left' has four letters, and so does 'port.' Don't judge me.

(Meme via Sh*t My LPO Says)

7.With one visit to the Class Six, you, too, can watch half of your mid-month pay get snapped away by Thanos. 

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

8."Nothing to see here... Keep walking. Nothing to see here..."

(Meme via 1st Civ Division)

9.Bonus points if they're still wearing the headset and the cable's long enough to wrap around them a few times.

(Meme via Private News Network)

10.Technically, you can't prove it DIDN'T happen this way. 

(Screengrab via The Salty Soldier, Credit to Reddit user u/patientbearr)

11.It's either that or "another day, another dollar." 

(Meme via Air Force amn/nco/snco)

12.The only MRE worth "accidentally losing" is the Chili Mac. The rest is just up to be "ratf*cked" and traded for the Chili Mac. 

(Meme by Ranger Up)

13.How are paradoxes like this possible? Just ask anyone having "fun" at a unit-sponsored "mandatory fun day." 

(Meme via US Army WTF Moments)