All across the nation everyone is dealing with the Polar Vortex. It's colder than balls outside for everyone in the military. That is unless you're one of the lucky bastards stationed in Hawaii.

No. I get it. "The grass is always greener" or whatever nonsense the retention NCO tried to peddle off to you before they sent you to Fort Bumpf*cknowhere. I don't care if the cost of living is slightly higher in Hawaii.

At least the troops there aren't dealing with hearing their salty platoon sergeant try to "well back in my day" every complaint about it being below negative twenty degrees. I'll pay that extra dollar for a Big Mac if it gets me out of that.

Anyways, stay warm out there guys. Thankfully the Coast Guard has money to pay their heating bills.

1.Jeez. And I thought mopping the rain in the Army was dumb...

(Meme via Sh*t My LPO Says)

2.You may end up looking like Two-Face from Batman... but hey, at least you got a cool photo. 

(Meme via Air Force amn/nco/snco)

3.And everyone wonders why the Humvees keep breaking down. 

(Meme via Private News Network)

4."You better be keeping up with your baby maintenance, Devil Dog. A negligent discharge from that bad boy will be disgusting." 

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

5.Well. There goes my afternoon plans. 

(Meme via Coast Guard Memes)

6.There's a certain line between building character and needlessly just sending your troops to sick call. Chose wisely. 

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

7.Damn. That looks bad. You should do some Motrin about that. 

(Meme via Military Memes)

8.You'll never know how strong your body is until you've done the "Bend and Reach" with a stomach full of Jack Daniels, Sam Adams, and Taco Bell. 

(Meme via Pop Smoke)

9.We're your friends you have to warn your other friends about with a "he takes some getting used to..." 

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)

10. Not everyone can be a space shuttle door gunner. 

(Meme via Call for Fire)

11. You know Capt. Solo was an OCS guy because he decided "F*ck it" and slept inside a Tauntaun instead of just calling for help. 

(Meme via The Army's F*ckups)

12. If only there was some kind of machine that could pull ropes. Then all the seamen would have to worry about is painting the hull a slightly more gray shade of gray. 

(Meme via Ranger Up)

13. I still want to know how some sh*tbag who stubbed his toe once in Basic got 100% but I have to wait three months to get a doctor to call me back.

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)