Ah, Valentine's Day! Love is in the air! Cupid is on the march!


And you have duty. Or are deployed. Or stuck in the barracks. ... Whatever.

We all know what that means. While you're busy mopping floors and standing at parade rest, Joe D./Jodie/Jody is on the prowl, looking for heartsick girlfriends and boyfriends stuck all alone at home. Here's the date he's probably suggesting to your significant other right now:

1. He'll probably give her some nice flowers.

RIP Mary Tyler Moore. You were the real MVP. (GIF: Giphy/hulu.com)

Most likely roses, but it could be something creative like daisies or tulips.

2. Take a ride in your Cadillac.

(GIF: giphy.com/Limelightlowlifes)

Your significant other is probably sitting at home, still in love with you. But don't take that for granted. It's Valentine's Day for crying out loud.

If you're stateside and can surprise them, just do everything from this list that Jodie might have done. If you're deployed, send some nice flowers and a sweet video message.

Both of these things work even if you have to do it on the 13th or 15th.

Come on, give your loved ones some credit. The ladies know better than to give into Jodie's nonsense. Now, the boys and Jane, on the other hand....