If you've ever spoken to a recruiter, you know that they tend to say impressive things to get young men and women interested in joining their branch of service.
Many people call recruiters "used car salesmen," but in all fairness, they're just trying to make a living and fill their quotas. Experienced recruiters have unique ways of conveying information to make everything sound positive and exciting — it's a freakin' gift.
But, we think fictional character "Pennywise the Dancing Clown" from Stephen King's It could take the crown as the best recruiter if he wanted to. Here's why:
5. He makes some insane recruiting videos
If he can use video to kill someone through a kids' show, he can get you to enlist.
4. Pennywise can pop up at virtually any location
Just when you think you've gotten away from him, the f*cker crawls out of the refrigerator!
3. You can find his picture in any history book he wants.
You'll find him when you're flipping through one of your American history textbooks. Talk about subliminal advertising.
He's been around for a while... (Image from New Line Cinema's It)
2. He can lead you to his office with a simple red balloon
Recruiters bust their asses trying to get young teens into their office just to pitch the idea of joining their branch. Once they've gotten your attention, they have no problem of secretly leading you off to their office.
Plus, they might have candy.
1. He makes amazing promises
Recruiters are notorious for making military life seem freakin' awesome and leave out certain terms, like "working parties." Pennywise makes traveling through nasty sewers seem like the cool thing to do.
Let's face it, Pennywise did say he has popcorn — and we like popcorn!
This is all in good humor. We love our recruiters.