Man, you cut yourself off from the outside world for one extended weekend and you miss everything. Apparently, lettuce is now dangerous and, supposedly, generals carrying "assault" weapons in Afghanistan are dangerous, and some tribe in the Indian Ocean that's capable of firing a metric f*ckload of arrows into moving airplanes is dangerous, too.

So, if you've managed to not die from tainted lettuce or North Sentinelese archers this week, congratulations! You've earned yourself some memes.

1.Everyone wants to talk sh*t about the Navy, but you won't find them taking Dramamine on a cruise ship.

(Meme via Uniform Humor)

2.It's called acclimatization. Get your body used to a certain type of hell and you'll thrive in it.

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)

3.I guess you could say, they're the "butt" of all jokes? ...I'll see myself out...

(Meme via Coast Guard Memes)

4.If you get duty on Thursday, you get a free four-day. If you get it the next day, you're f*cked out of a three-day.

(Meme via Shammers United)

5.Every time you force a laugh at a senior enlisted's joke out of respect for their rank, you're encouraging them to keep telling the same terrible jokes over and over.

(Meme via United Status Marin Crops)

6."We get it, grandpa. You killed commies for mommy. We don't need the details about punji stick pits during dinner."

(Meme by CONUS Battle Drills)

7.Worth it.

(Meme via Sh*t My LPO Says)

8.If you think about it, the NCOs didn't really seem too upset about missing PT to find your ass.

(Meme via Smokepit Fairytales)

9.If you say it's a diag, no one will give enough sh*ts to try. There's no point.

(Meme via Private News Network)

10.I don't know what bothers me more: the fact that Uncle Sam wants my CAC back or the fact that people keep calling it a "CAC card."

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

11."I'm up. She sees me. I'm f*cked..."

(Meme by Pop Smoke)

12.Take some ibuprofen, change your socks, and walk it off. 

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

13.Then the enlisted changes their name on Facebook to something lame, like "John Idgaf Smith" or "John OperatorAF Smith."

(Meme via Air Force Nation & Humor)