Oh boy, picking just one military news story and riffing on it is going to be hard this week.

Let's see... The Coasties beat the Marines in a sniper competition. The Marines drew another skydick over Miramar. Civilians learned that the Air Force has enough money to waste hundreds of thousands on easily broken coffee mugs. A soldier got arrested in South Korea for kicking a policeman in the nads. And the Commander-in-Chief said he'd, "send in the military — not the guard — but the military," effectively discrediting the efforts of over half a million guardsmen.

Because I can't come up with anything funnier than reality has been this week for the military, I'll just remind you that your Cyber Security cert is almost expired. You should probably get on that.

1. When you try to enlist out of Colorado. 

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

2. Chicks dig a guy in uniform... Right?

(Meme via Air Force Nation & Humor)

3. Basically. 

(Meme via The Salty Soldier)

4. "How many beers would you say you have in one sitting?" --- "Yes."

(Meme via Hooah My Ass Off)

5. "You're the tip of spear, devils."

(Meme via Smokepit Fairytales)

6. "Look at them. They're really earning their Certificates of Appreciation."

(Meme via Battle Bars)

7. "What do you mean you want to see my ID? I fought in stuff for America or whatever."

(Meme via Pop Smoke)

8. First sergeants have vision like the T-Rex from Jurassic Park. If you don't move, they can't see you. 

(Meme via Private News Network)

9. Please stop sending cookies in my care packages. It, uhhh, makes the other privates... jealous?

(Meme via Ranger Up)

10. You've got a whole three seconds before your squad leader starts pounding on your door. 

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)

11. Anyone else ever get the feeling that the CO honestly believes that the troops are inspired by the BS they keep spewing forever?

(Meme via Untied Status Marin Crops)

12. Still not service-connected.

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

13. The perfect Halloween costume doesn't exi-

(Meme via US Army WTF Moments)

No, seriously. You should probably get your Cyber Security training done.