If you've seen that recently-published graph that's been floating around the internet that states Marines beat every other branch in terms of smoking, drinking, and sleeping around, you may think it's just some Photoshopped meme or joke. It's not. It's actually a real thing. If you haven't, we're happy to show you:

Rah!(Department of Defense)

The fine folks at the RAND Corporation, the people who administered the survey on behalf of the DoD, probably had the best of intentions when they conducted it. They likely thought to themselves, "perhaps if the troops know how damaging their lifestyle is to their personal health, they'll want to change."

But, nah — that's not how the military works. You put any sort of ranking on it and you're just going to make things worse. In the immortal words of Matthew McConaughey, "you gotta pump those numbers up! Those are rookie numbers!"

Anyways, here's some memes.


1.On its own, it's a mediocre meme. But knowing that recruiters are working on their meme game to get bodies in the door is freaking hilarious.

(Meme via US Army WTF Moments)

2.Nah, it's all good. I'll wait until I PCS the f*ck outta here.

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

3."But mah iron sights!"

(Meme via Untied Status Marin Crops)

4."But mah ACOG!"

(Meme via United Status Marin Crops)

5.Anyone else want to raise their hand?

(Meme via The Senior Specialist)

6.Who says recruiters lie?

(Meme via Dysfunctional Veterans)

7.Blood makes the green grass grow, so, in a way, troops are environmentalists.

(Meme via /r/USMC)

8.There's only one thing on this planet that can make General Dunford go to pucker level 8...

9.The M203 is the greatest invention known to the military. Someone saw an old bayonet laying around and thought, "but what if it shot grenades?"

10.They have one job. Just ONE job... and yet...

(Meme via Sh*t My LPO Says)

11.To be honest, it's not really a change in how senior enlisted act on a daily basis.

(Meme via Valhalla Wear)

12.No, no. Please continue. I really want to know why going into Afghanistan for its "supposedly vast" oil fields was a terrible thing.

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

13.When you become an NCO, there's a certain point where you stop getting mad about the stupid things your Joes do and just stare in amazement. That feeling wears off after a while and you'll be back to being pissed about stupid sh*t again.