There was a study conducted recently by the CDC and the Delphi Behavioral Health Group that concluded that the U.S. Military beats out literally every other profession in days per year spent drinking. If you roughly equal out the days spent with the total number of troops, that puts us at 130 days on average, compared to the 91 day average for every other profession.

And, I mean, it makes absolute sense. No other profession has a culture around drinking like the military. It's not "drunk like an interior designer" or "drunk like a software developer." Toss a bunch of them into a barracks with nothing to do but drink after a long and stressful day, and you'll see their numbers rise too.

So raise a glass, folks! I'm damn sure we've managed to keep that number one position since 1775 and won't let go of it until the end of time!

1.Catch me once, shame on me. Catch me twice, I haven't learned how to hide my tracks...

(Meme via Coast Guard Memes)

2.Is being so off-putting that you're an insufferable douchebag to even your closest friends supposed to be a badge of honor? Must have missed that lesson when I got my DD-214...

(Meme via Infantry Follow Me)

3.I'm not going to lie. It took me way longer than I'm willing to admit that being called "hero" wasn't a compliment. 

(Meme via Lost in the Sauce)

4.It adds character. 

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

5.No matter how hard you try, your ass will never be able to truly escape... 

(Meme via United States Veteran's Network)

6.I get it. I saw We Were Soldiers too and caught the "how do you know what kind of day it is?" reference. It's still customary to give a proper greeting of the day.

(Meme via Smokepit Fairytales, meme by Justin Swarb)

7.They're going through the motions just to tell you it's still not service connected. 

(Meme via ASMDSS)

8.The saying of every sh*tbag NCO that are the scoliosis of the backbone of the Army: "Check down, not up."

(Meme via Private News Network)

9.Ever notice how prior service recruiters never have to try to get anyone back in yet still do?

(Meme via Army as F*ck)

10."How? I don't have any ibuprofin on me?"

(Meme via The Salty Soldier)

11.Instructions unclear. Still spent the $3 on booze. 

(Meme by Pop Smoke)

12.All those war movies never mention that 74% of your time in the military is spent emptying one connex and moving the stuff to the other. Another 15% is spent cleaning things that are already clean. 9% on training slides by NCOs with fourth grade reading levels. And 2% actual military sh*t. 

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)

13. ...So any ways. As I was saying...

(Meme via Air Force amn/nco/snco)