(Meme via Air Force Nation & Humor)

So, in weird military news, the former range director and several others at Hawaii's Schofield Barracks have pleaded guilty to an insane amount of bribery. And I don't mean your run of the mill "here's twenty bucks. Say I shot a perfect 40/40" either. I mean, he received antique sports cars, diamond earrings, and a nice arsenal of firearms in kickbacks to help squeeze through lucrative government contracts.

I get that GS-12 contractors make far more than an E-9, but you'd think someone would have noticed that the retired Sergeant Major is now rolling up in a souped-up '69 Ford Galaxie overnight. Like, I'm pretty sure all of those stupid internet training videos the military makes us do twice a month specifically point out that this is a red flag.

But honestly. The dude took over $700,000 in bribes, and I bet the range still worked like sh*t. Or that's at least my excuse whenever the 50M target won't go down when I swear I shot that motherf*cker... Anyways, here are some memes.

1.Don't Blue Falcon the entire company. Get a damn Uber home from the bar. 

(Meme via Army as F*ck)


(Meme via Call for Fire)

3.Oh. You thought NCOs were safe from the Big Green Weenie? They're the first ones to get smacked by it. 

(Meme via First Meme Div)

4.It's all worth it for that sweet, sweet DD-214 beard. 

(Meme via Team Non-Rec)

5.It's the hardest participation ribbon the military has to offer. 

(Meme via Air Force amn/nco/snco)

6.All it takes is a stack of free pancakes to turn me into the biggest vetbro on the internet. 

(Meme via Not CID)

7.Rules are made to be broken. 

(Meme via Hooah My Ass Off)

8.Never forget that Homer is a Navy vet and works a good enough job to afford a dream home, two cars, lobster for dinner and everything else that drove Frank Grimes mad.

(Meme via Air Force Nation & Humor)

9.I mean... Yeah. 

(Meme via Coast Guard Memes)

10.Still more accurate than the Hurt Locker...

(Meme via Disgruntled Vets)

11.Me, not in aviation: "I don't get it. What's the worst that cou... *quick Google search* Oh. Dear God... That's horrifying."

(Meme via ASMDSS)

12.I know I was always clean. But knowing how freaking hard the hammer comes down on you for doing that sh*t, I still sh*t myself every time. 

(Meme via Private News Network)

13.No one showed up to my homecoming ceremony but the bartender did remember my name when I "came back after, like, a really long time." Does that count as touching? 

(Meme via Decelerate Your Life)