The surprising things you can't build with iTunes

Or "Why dictators shouldn't just click 'Yes' before accepting the terms of service"

Every Apple user is inevitably faced with the terms of service. The vast majority of us will start to think about reading them, realize we're looking at a 56-page magnum opus of legalese and tiny print, and then just accept the fact that we're going to click "yes" anyway. For the most part, there's nothing out of the ordinary in there and it won't affect your daily life — unless you're a dictator thinking about hedging your bets on preventing an American invasion.

Deep inside those terms of service is a clause forbidding the user from using the program for "the development, design, manufacture, or production of nuclear, missile, or chemical or biological weapons."

As if Kim Jong Un cares that much about retribution from Apple.


But remember, America, Apple will raid your damn house in the middle of the night if you mess with them.

The clause is most likely a way for Apple to cover its own ass, keeping it from being liable if a nuclear accident, attack, or exchange ever did occur.

Steve Jobs thought of that one, too. No wonder he dressed like a super villain.

The End User License Agreement also cautions the user against exporting or re-exporting Apple software to "anyone on the U.S. Treasury Department's Specially Designated Nationals List or the U.S. Department of Commerce Denied Persons List or Entity List." There has never been a more comprehensive list of North Koreans, suspected terrorist group members, Libyans, or American prison inmates.

If anyone is asking how exactly one could use iTunes to create a nuclear weapon, that's a very good question. If anyone actually answers that question with a plausible answer, the U.S. government should probably know that person's whereabouts. And take away his or her Apple products.

If you're really curious about the Apple EULA but don't have a juris doctorate, you can listen to Richard Dreyfuss read parts of it on YouTube.