Terry Wayne Ward was a joker his whole life. That's how everyone knew him. Sadly, he died from a stroke at age 71 in January 2018. When it came time for his daughter to write his obituary, she knew she had to honor his life in a way that evoked his unique sense of humor.
"Terry Wayne Ward, age 71, of DeMotte, IN, escaped this mortal realm on Tuesday, January 23rd, 2018, leaving behind 32 jars of Miracle Whip, 17 boxes of Hamburger Helper, and multitudes of other random items that would prove helpful in the event of a zombie apocalypse," she wrote on his page for the Geisen Funeral Home.
"He is preceded in death by his parents Paul and Bernice Ward, daughter Laura Pistello, grandson Vincent Pistello, brother Kenneth Ward, a 1972 Rambler, and a hip."
Sounds like a veteran's sense of humor to me.
"With him as a father, there was absolutely no other way to write this obituary," his daughter, Jean Lahm told The New York Post in an interview.
The obituary continues:
"He met the love of his life, Kathy, by telling her he was a lineman – he didn't specify early on that he was a lineman for the phone company, not the NFL. Still, Kathy and Terry wed in the fall of 1969, perfectly between the Summer of Love and the Winter of Regret."
Terry Ward with his wife, Kathy.
Terry Ward died knowing that a young Clint Eastwood was the world's biggest badass. Like many veterans, he liked hunting, fishing, golfing, snorkeling, hiking Turkey Run, chopping wood, shooting guns, cold beer, free beer, The History Channel, CCR, and war movies.
But he also liked ABBA, Bed Bath & Beyond, and starlight mints.
The obituary was picked up on Twitter by scores of local journalists, then national journalists, who all shared the admiration they had for his daughter's word, and of course, Terry Ward.
AMAZING OBIT ALERT: Terry Wayne Ward escaped this mortal realm ... leaving behind 32 jars of Miracle Whip, 17 boxes of Hamburger Helper and multitudes of other random items that would prove helpful in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
It gets better.https://t.co/HPtqYV2WCo
— Peter Frost (@peterfrost) January 25, 2018
Ward "despised 'uppity foods' like hummus, which his family lovingly called 'bean dip' for his benefit, which he loved consequently. He couldn't give a damn about most material things, and automobiles were never to be purchased new. He never owned a personal cell phone and he had zero working knowledge of the Kardashians."
Most importantly, Terry Ward wanted you to make donations in his name to "your favorite charity or your favorite watering hole, where you are instructed to tie a few on and tell a few stories of the great Terry Ward."
So, We Are The Mighty wanted to share everything we knew about the great Terry Ward with you.